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I had a mother tell me that her child had been sexually abused by her father, and she wanted to know if I knew of anything she could do at home with her daughter to help with self-esteem and dealing with the abuse.  I dont know of any books and I have a looked some but cant seem to find anything.  If anyone knows of anythig please let me know ASAP so I can get back to her mother.

 

Thankyou God Bless

Rachel

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God Bless
Rachel

Hi Rachel-

Has this been reported to the authorities? This child may need professional intervention in dealing with self-esteem issues and all of the aftermath of abuse. Most pediatricians can help with books and such. If the mom needs it (or anyone else in the future) the hotline number is 1-800-96-ABUSE. They can also suggest support groups, books, and shelters if needed. And of course as awana leaders we love on her and share the love of Jesus.

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Never Too Little to Know the Lord!
Carol

Rachel, first of all praise the Lord that the mom felt she could confide in you about this. I agree about calling the hotline. This child will need counseling & also her mom's attitude will mean a lot. One of my grandsons was abused @ age 5 by a cousin. As soon as his mom got home he told her what happened. She immediatly let him know she loved him & it was not his fault, he had done nothing wrong. He came thru it very well. I also agree to love on her

I will be praying for this little girl. You have gotten some great tips from the above posters,I have nothing to offer execpt prayer.

 

Pam

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Pam

I am not sure if it had been repoted but i reported thevery next day to the SRS abuse hotline.  The mother just wanted material to use at home to help with hert daughters self-esteem.  Thankyou for your prayers.

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God Bless
Rachel

Unfortunitly, I have delt with abused children and their parents before.  The mother is trying to seek a "quiet" solution that does not exist.  She has to get the girl to a professional CHRISTIAN counsler.  It is great that she confided in you but you are not a thearpist.  The help she needs will not be found in a book.  I know she wants to sheild her daughter but the damage is done and the child needs professional help and honestly so does the mother.  Things will only get worse if they do not.  Talk to your Pastor about one in the area or call the hotline given in a previous post.

Sorry, there is no simple answer to such a terrible question.  I wish there were. 

I know how difficult this is for you. I have delt with countless abused children and their families.  Pray.  And the best advice I can give you is this, if you find it affecting your emotional well being to the point it is taking away from your own family (mainly children) you will have to back off for your own family's sake. 

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Entering my 14th year in AWANA

A Citation Winner because I felt I had no right to tell my kids to do something I would not do myself, so I started doing the 3rd grade books and just kept going.

Are you doing your sections along with your clubbers?

Mrs. Dani

Thankyou for your advice.  I think the mother is trying to keep her child away from Counseling as well. Wich is understandable because in our town the counseling is not very good.  However I also dont know if the child is in counseling or not. It was her first night of Cubbies when i was told so i really havent had the chance to get to know the little girl very well.  If she is in counseling I think her mom just wanted something extra she could do to boost her daughters self-esteem but i really dont know for sure. but liek I said in a previous post I did report to authorities and I plan to talk to her mother more about getting her child into counseling and my pastor has some books that he suggests. So i will most likely give her that list tell her to speak to her doc and look into Christian counseling for her child.

I will not let this interfere with my family.  I just wanted to be of help to the mother.  I would love to see the family come to know Christ as their personal saviours.

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God Bless
Rachel

Another word of warning, since you do not know this child well. 

There are some people who live off of drama.  I have delt with people like this as well.  They "make stuff up" so they can gather sympathy from others.  Hard to believe I know, but I have experienced this first hand.  I remembered you also saying it was the child's father.  If this is a bitter divorce, there is also a chance of this being "made up" .  I am not acussing anyone, I am just warning you to be careful.  Make sure you are not in the middle of this.  Try to have another leader with you (or at least in the same room as you) everytime you discuss this with the mother.  While I feel for this family, you and your family are the first concern.

Make sure your commander is made aware of all you have been told.

 

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Entering my 14th year in AWANA

A Citation Winner because I felt I had no right to tell my kids to do something I would not do myself, so I started doing the 3rd grade books and just kept going.

Are you doing your sections along with your clubbers?

Hi Rachel,

From a Commanders perspective I would definately inform the Church leadership of this situation.  From a liability standpoint there could be many issues that come from this.  I understand your burden to get these people to accept Christ and that is the ultimate help that this family needs BUT this lady could come back in the future and say that she told you about this issue and the Church did nothing to help her.  I hope you understand Im not trying to be harsh but as Dani said there are many that live off of "drama" and they are looking for a reason to "sue" even a Church organization.

As also been posted this family needs professional counseling.  If the town does not have the proper facilities then she needs to seek help else where but she does need to get professional help.

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Pals (now T&T) leader for 5 1/2 years. Director for 2 years. Commander for the last 2 1/2 years. Firm believer in being faithful to the local Church.

we have the same situation in our church. one of our sprkies was touched by a minor. first of all we have a responsability to the child. knowing something and not reporting it can be devistationg. you did the right thing there. do all you can to show agape love to the child and the mother and even pray for the father. hate the sin love the sinner. ask the mom if  pastor visits are ok with them. you  might want to  go a few times wih the pastor as a sign of suppot to the mother and child. awana has a few books about churches dealing with child abuse. i recomend getting them and reading them so that you have some tools to help the child while in club. keep as much dialog with the mom going as possible. may not have to do with  the assault directly. talk about helping the child with their verses or just talking about  the child in school. dont pry to much. the more they feel like they can talk to someone, the morelikely they will talk about any other need. above all pray, pray pray.

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IN HIS SERVICE
AARON WILSON
COMMANDER
CENTRAL BAPTIST CHURCH LEANDER TEXAS

Thankyou everybody for your advice. It is greatly appreciated.  I went to people in leadership minutes after I talked to the childs mom.  I do not think that anyone is being harsh with me. I have to kind of a heart at times.  I still plan to talk to my pastor. 

 about the mother trying to say she tried to get help from the church and noone would help,  I  dont think I could get in trouble since i reported.  Correct me if I am wrong please. 

Thanks to everyone for the great advice.

 

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God Bless
Rachel

Rachellle14:

 about the mother trying to say she tried to get help from the church and noone would help,  I  dont think I could get in trouble since i reported.  Correct me if I am wrong please. 

Hi Rachelle-

Depends on "how" you reported. When you call the hotline you have the option of making the report either anonymous or give your name (speaking from experience as an obligatory reporter by law). If you chose to do so anonymously (which is fine by the way-you still acted to protect the child) then there will not be a "paper trail" per se that says you called it in. If you gave your name, then yes, you are protected legally and did what you needed to do.

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Never Too Little to Know the Lord!
Carol

Thanks I gave my name and everything else they asked so I guess i am safe.

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God Bless
Rachel

IF you have a Child Protection policy at your church... this should easily be addressed by your church leadership after reporting such to them. If there is not such in place.... it would be worth considering!!

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Just an update.  I took everyones advice, However I did talk to my pastor and asked the mother if it would be ok if he called her. She said yes and im not sure what has happened since.  However the mother did tell me her daughter was already gettign professional counseling but there is no Christian counselor in our area. Which is why she was asking for material she could use at home to help her daughter. Still keep her in your prayers. THnakyou

God Bless Rachel

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God Bless
Rachel